Personal

I’ll be shifting to photography and I told this to my buddies and sez “that is so cool! But it’s one expensive hobby!”. Is photography really an expensive art as they say!?

I’ve found a site that sells a lot of stuff online. It’s like another version of e-bay only this site let’s you shop online. The shopping site boasts tons and tons of items to shop for, ranging from tech, gadgets, electronics and digital camera to name a few. I saw these dSLR (Nikon SLR D80) in the site and I was in awe when I found out how much they cost. Comparing them from where I am now, it is really, really cheap and I would give up everything just to get me one! Digital camera or dSLR, whatever it is as long as I can have one!

In conclusion, photography doesn’t have to be expensive. It all depends on the guy/girl behind the lens to capture that very special moment and that emotional instance and immortalize it in still pictures. Photography is an art and an expression, imagination is the key and a good pair of eyes.

As usual, we started our day with saying aloud our custom affirmation and this very, very fun and exciting game (which is related to the subject matter for today). We have to think of an adjective that will begin with the letter that will be given by the instructor. It all boiled down to two very, very nice ladies where one succumbs to the other.

Lesson proper now. We were acquainted with the very confusing grammar structure of the English language. We learned about subject verb agreement and the 16 basic rules that we should remember about this department. Next one was the verb tenses where we were familiarized in the simple tense and progressive tense. Adjectives, the confusing prepositions, singular/plural forms and sentence structure then rounded up our day.

The most notable point for this day was that the instructor mistakenly saw the time. She thought that it was already 5:30 but it was really just half past four. As a filler, we did another fun activity where we have to make a story out of the names that were presented in the white board. This will show how we learnt our adjectives, prepositions and transitional phrases. We didn’t get to finish the activities today, so we will be continuing it tomorrow… yey!

I recently finished a sonnet that I plan on giving to the riadox07 and the title is identical to her pen name. For a little bit of an overview, the riadox07 is a cosplayer and is now a newly registered nurse. This might mean her costripping days are over but am so hoping otherwise. I have always been in awe whenever I see her in a convention jam-packed with literally hundreds of fan(boy) like myself. I first saw her in a photoshoot at a nearby mall and I was captivated by her the first time I saw her. When I heard her voice, it’s as if the angel’s themselves came down to converse with us pitiful human. Everytime I am in a convention, the first cosplayer that I look forward into meeting and having a picture with is the riadox07 – you can say that she’s one of the reasons that I was so into cosplay and conventions.

I am not expecting anything from her since the sonnet is made for her. Once I obtain approval, I will post the sonnet here.

Back in college days, me and other 4 people started our own “company” per se. This was because we share common feelings when it comes to working – we hate having a boss telling us what to do and what not. We formed an alliance to have a freelance company specializing at what we love to do best – animation, graphics, website programming and design. We then started on our little baby, purchasing our own domain and building our corporate website that will serve as the portal for our would-be clients. We had a couple of sleepovers and a lot of sleepless nights in order to make this work. But like a hatchling finding its way to the world, we were devoured by the world wide web and our own egos. Our stronghold of an alliance quickly crumble, together with our dreams of establishing our own company. We had no direction back then and was frustrated not being able to meet the hype of the expectation that we set. Had we only some consultant affirming our actions, then the outcome might have been a lot different. Dennis C Carey on board placement would have been a lot of help if I only knew he’s existence earlier.

But we ain’t giving up! We are merely back on the drawing board and concocting our next move. This time around, everything’s planned to avoid unnecessary glitches.

Everybody has their own points of view, everyone has their own flaws. It is no secret that the first thing that we noticed to a girl/guy is his/her looks. We are a vain entity thus the physical appearance is the first basis of how we judge the personality of someone.

When it comes to love and affection, the order of the business is the same. When we saw someone that gorgeous, we can’t help but to have another look at them as we cross paths. I, for one, am guilty of these statements especially when it comes to drop-dead gorgeous chicks. The past few days have been magical, to say the least. Whenever I commute, either by car or train, a number of lovely ladies always beckon in front of my very eyes. I was in awe, each and every time I am within their presence. Shallow and vain, I know but this is who we humans are.

But for us who are not that lovely nor attractive, we can find some cosmetic surgery information before we go under the knife. In this way, we are making sure that we are prepared for the pros and cons of what we are about to do.

Here’s a toast to a new you!

For the second straight day, I still don’t have an internet connection at the office ggggaahhhh!! I can’t do anything in here! I am literally counting down the minutes before quitting time. For the second day, I stare blankly on my monitor. It’s a good thing that I brought my Nintendo DS lite today so I can pass the time. I played at a nearby mall for roughly 3 hours until the battery life of my DS died. Now, I am back at my cubicle and fighting the urge of falling asleep. If this had happened at home (the no internet connection issue), it’s manageable for me because I can still watch some movies or animes that I downloaded and I won’t be bored or anything like that. But having no connection here at the office is a whole lot of different story. I’m gonna die insane due to this sh*t!!! I am not getting my hopes high for tomorrow and am thinking if I should just file a vacation leave. In that way, I can spend my time in a more productive and significant way.

I’ve been seeing LIEZL for the past couple of days and we’ve been talking and texting non-stop (given that she has the credit to text me). Sheer words are not enough to describe the sensation that I feel whenever we talk and especially when I have the pleasure of seeing her. Within a span of days, I learned a lot from her – about her life, the hurdles she went through and is still undergoing, her personality and who she really is. The more I know of her past and present, the more I wanna be her future. I don’t like it when she’s crying and getting hurt. I hate the fact that all I can do is comfort her and say things that will make her feel better. The whole time that we were seeing each other, the more I realized all my faults and all the simple pleasurable things that I continuously ignore.

She said things that almost made me weep if it weren’t for the fact that we were in a public place. A lady as precious as her doesn’t deserve to be treated sh*tty, instead, she deserves only the best! I wanna be the one that holds her hand when she’s troubled, her shield when she’s in pain, her sword when in doubt. I wanna bring her smile back; I wanna be the reason why she smiles.

I found out that there are a lot of things, simple things, that she didn’t had the pleasure of experiencing. By highschool, she was working her ass off just to have some cheese that will go to her tuition fee at school. She sacrificed everything, including her personal indulgence(s) just to help her family. I’ve a one-sided perspective on all people and she was the one that shattered that belief. All her life, she had been working non-stop all for her family. Though having some troubles financially, she still keeps that genuine smile and a positive outlook which made me fell for her even more. Because of her, I changed my ways, my belief and my outlook Because of her, I felt that I have a heart – an emotion capable of caring and loving. Because of her, I was moved and forever changed… for the better.

For two consecutive days now, I’ve been constantly praying and wishing “dear god, please let me be with LIEZL for all eternity. Please, please grant us the elusive “happily ever after” ending. Dear god, with LIEZL by my side, I know I won’t go wrong. She’s my inspiration, she’s the reason why I chose to live. Dear god, I’ve been an ass all my life and I don’t deserve even a single wish much more talk to you but that shows how much I love her. I am willing to risk my dark wings and exposed them to sunlight just for her. Dear god, I hope you can hear me and I guess all I can do is wait for your wonders.”

Note: details for the 2-day escapade will be presented in a more “blow-by-blow” way in a separate entry.

It was her birthday and that was all the reason I needed to put a smile on my face. I had this idea of having some flowers delivered at their office just to surprise her but somebody beat me to it. During lunch, I heard that all too familiar ring from my phone and I pretended that I didn’t heard it. My immediate supervisor and friend picked up the phone and she smiled as she was giving me the handset.

Me: happy birthday dude!! Did you receive the flowers? (though I didn’t really gave her any)
Liezl: wow!! So it was you that gave those flowers!! Thanks! Thanks!
Me: *somewhat astonished* ye.. yeah.. no prob!
Liezl: thank you so much!!
Me: *decided to tell the truth* frankly, I didn’t send any flowers. I was planning to do that but I guess someone beat me to it.
Liezl: hhhmmm.. I wonder who’s it from!?
Me: maybe it’s from your boyfriend… *it’s as if there are swords stabbing my heart as I sez this line*
Liezl: probably…
Me: *sadness befell* so uuhhmmm, it’s already luchbreak so I guess I’ll just call you later… happy birthday!
Liezl: ok. I’ll just call you later.
*I hung up the phone*

After the conversation, I lost my focus to eat and work. A lot of stuff are dancing in my head – mainly a lot of what if’s. I passed most of the on afternoon on either staring at my monitor pretending to work or looking at my notes and doodling some stuff. 4 o’clock came and that familiar ring on the phone was heard. I answered the phone and heard her melodious voice and infectious laugh which are enough to eradicate all my doubts.

Liezl: how’s ya day dude? (she’s fond of calling me dude)
Me: *sarcastic* it’s a bit slow.
Liezl: oohh I see. Nways, I found out who sent the flowers
Me: *utter silence since I have a hunch*
Liezl: it was from my boyfriend. He sent it and surprised me earlier by dropping by here at the office.
Me: *wearing a poker face to hide the hurting* see!? I told you.
Liezl: yup!! I was so surprised!
Me: ne, can we meet later? I think we should go home together since it’s your birthday
Liezl: sure!! I’ll be waiting for you at the bus terminal ok!?
Me: un! I have a gift for you!
Liezl: really!? Ggahhhh! I can’t wait! I have something to give to you too.
Me: ayt! See you after office then

As planned, we met at the designated bus stop. That was the first time that I went to such place and hurdle everything just to see her and be with her even for that short moment. Roughly one hour had passed when she and her friend came to the station. Her explanation was unnecessary to me, what’s important is she was here in front of me. Her friend, who lives within the area, left both of us in the terminal where we waited for the bus for 30 minutes. To pass the time, I pulled my trusty Ipod to listen to some good music but as soon as she saw mo grooving, she immediately pulled the earphones. At about 9:30, we boarded the bus and picked a good seat where it can be both of us because we tend to have our own world when it’s just the two of us. While waiting for the bus to depart, she pulled something from her bag and gave it to me. It was some sort of cookies and peanut butter so we can have a bite while waiting for the bus to go. She again, reached her bag and pulled something out of it. It was a necklace – her gift to me which she bought when she was in some province. As we traverse the expressway, I gave to her my birthday gift. It was a half-torn paper with a lot of creases, it had been obviously in my bag for quite a while. I reached out and gave her the poems that I specially composed for her. She asked for me to read it aloud, I hesitated but I gave-in in the end. I read the poem for her as heartfelt, as sincere and as best as I can because these few lines hold all the emotions, all the feelings that I have for her. After I was done reading, tears were slowly forming in her eyes and she gave me a hug for that wonderful gift….

- To be continued -

[note:] I am currently writing this entry with a heavy heart. I haven’t had any sleep last night because of our conversation and am just plain confused right now. It’s as if god himself heard my sentiments and brought forth the sudden downpour of rain.

…It was a half-torn paper with a lot of creases, it had been obviously in my bag for quite a while. I reached out and gave her the poems that I specially composed for her. She asked for me to read it aloud, I hesitated but I gave-in in the end. I read the poem for her as heartfelt, as sincere and as best as I can because these few lines hold all the emotions, all the feelings that I have for her. After I was done reading, tears were slowly forming in her eyes and she gave me a hug for that wonderful gift. I gave her back the poems and she read those same few stanzas in a hush and sweet manner. No words can describe how and what I felt at that exact moment. It’s as if I’m invulnerable to anything. If this is what they call love, then it is indeed one dangerous drug that keeps you coming back for more. I wished for the ride to take just a little longer, I wished that this night will never end, I wished that this emotion and sensation that I’m feeling never fades, I wished the smile in my heart will never be erased.

As we were on our way, we decided to pass the time by listening to some music in my Ipod. I was just staring at her face and admiring her for all her worth when a certain song played and she immediately turned her head towards me. I picked up the other earpiece to see what song made her that excited.

Liezl: dude! I love this song!!
Me: *motioning towards the other earpiece*
Liezl: hurry up!! You gotta hear this song!
Me: *excited*
Me: right! I like this cover of the song also. It was done by mayonnaise (a local band here).
Liezl: aahhhh. That’s why it sounded funny. It was a remake.
Me: yeah! But it’s pretty cool!
Liezl: *humming to the tune of ipagpatawad mo.*

After a few more minutes, we realized that she was nearing her stop. She was carrying a lot of luggage (mostly dirty laundries) and I insisted of walking her at least until she reached the terminal. We got off the bus and she was motioning toward the terminal when I called her name and stopped her.

Me: ne, happy birthday!
Liezl: thank you so much dude! I really appreciate it! I really enjoyed myself! Thank you! Thank you!
Me: there’s also something I gotta say
Liezl: *curious* what is it?
Me: *stutters* anou… ehhhmmmm…
Liezl: *excited* what is it!? What is it!?
Me: *stutters yet again* the thing is… aaahhhhmm….
Liezl: *anticipating every word that I’ll say* is there really something you wanna tell me!?
Me: *in hales deeply* ayt, am serious now. I mean I’m casting off the poker and clown faces. I’m about to tell you something important to me.
Liezl: *listening intently*
Liezl: which is…..
Me: remember when we were in the bus earlier and you heard the song?
Liezl: yup! I even told you it was one of my favorites. So what gives?
Me: there’s a line there saying “ipagpatawad mo minahal kita agad” right?
Liezl: yep!
Me: the thing is….
Liezl: *waiting… impatiently*
Me: well… the thing is, that is what I am feeling when I’m with you. The song holds true for what I feel for you.
Liezl: *astonished* *speechless*
Me: *counting at the back of my mind. 1… 2… 3…..*
Liezl: *still smiling*
Liezl: are you serious?
Me: yes! I’m dead serious. That’s why I have this dilemma. I mean, I know that you have a boyfriend now but am sorry I just can’t help myself.
Liezl: *looking at me dead in my eye*
Me: the more time we talk, the more time we see each other the more am falling for you… fast.
Liezl: *still smiling while listening to me*
Me: I guess I just don’t want this night to end without me telling you that. *as I motioned towards the terminal*
Liezl: *walking by my side*
Liezl: when did this happen? I mean when did you feel that you’re falling for me?
Me: *inhales deeply, looks at the stars* I don’t know. Like I sez, the more we talked, the more I grew fond of you and I just loved you.
Liezl: *hesitating to look me in the eye, while we were walking* dude, let’s stop by at that store. I’ll just grab a couple of cigarettes.
Me: *thinking unexplained thoughts, feeling unknown emotions*
Liezl: *lights her cigarette. Probably thinking of what I just said.*
Liezl: so…
Me: *obviously half awake*
Me: so?
Liezl: *just to break the ice*
Liezl: it’s kinda late no!? are you sure that it’s OK to you?
Me: *smiling* of course!

To my astonishment, those 2 sticks of cigarettes were used sparingly. I guess she must have been thinking of what I just said. I still stare at her while she was smoking and I didn’t detect any change in her aura, in her disposition despite the fact of what I just sez. She’s still the same LIEZL from a while back. After finishing those two sticks, she motioned towards me…

Liezl: *she slowly approached me, eyes are still shining and smiling*
Liezl: thanks so much!!
Liezl: *motioned her cheek toward mine until it touched one another. Some form of friendly “kiss”*
Me: *saddened and at the same time happy*
Me: *sarcastic and yet serious* ggggaaaahhh! The more you’re doing that, the more am hurting
Liezl: *smile is her only answer*
Liezl: thanks again dude and be careful on going home. I’ll just text you ayt!?

As her ride stroll away, I headed on the opposite direction preparing to go home. I just looked up on the stars and still can’t believe what happened. I asked them if what I did was right.

- to be continued -

1. you’re great sense of humor
2. the different perspective you use to see the whole world (which made me love and respected you even more)
3. street-smart
4. outgoing
5. confident
6. you know what you want in life and most importantly, you know how to get it
7. you’re not trying to be somebody that you’re not (respect +88)
8. you talk a lot
9. you are fun to be with
10. you single handedly changed me – the way I talk, the way I think and all my beliefs thanks to the experiences that you shared
11. the way you love when you are in love
12. friendly
13. nosy (in a good way)
14. you’re simplicity
15. spontaneous
16. you’re eyes
17. you’re smile
18. the way you laugh
19. the way you “boss” me around for me to be able to be bolder and more courageous
20. the way you call me
21. those sleepless nights because of waiting for your text.
22. the way you make me smile when I read your text
23. the way the people disappear when I see you.
24. because of you, I felt that I have a heart – a heart capable of caring and loving
25. my life was given direction
26. you gave me the reason to fight and live. It’s safe to say that you are my life.